I started working with another Toltec teacher during the summer of 2006. The reasons for this switch from my teacher, Ramin were two-fold. Probably the first and foremost is that Ramin was deeply involved with getting his PhD and therefore wasn’t available for Toltec classes or other Toltec “games”. If Ramin wasn’t available, it seemed reasonable to find another teacher. Not only that, but I liked the idea of getting someone else to work with that has a different point of view and approach. The second major reason for going to see the new person was that I am still interested in exploring some of the “impossible” aspects of the Toltec traditions. Ramin does not seem to be at all interested in what I refer to as the phantasmagorical aspects of the practices, while the new person claims to be knowledgeable about these things and was willing to help me explore these areas.
After several weeks of getting to know each other, my new teacher declared that it was time to begin practicing feeling people’s energy. The first thing he did was to have me rub his body with a chicken’s egg on the outside of his cloths (no naked rubbing). The idea is that the egg can act as a medium for picking up negative energy and afterward can be used as a kind of divining tool. This was an interesting thing to do, but I didn’t really get past the point of its being just interesting. I didn’t find much to get excited about. Maybe there is something to it, but not something that I felt connected to.
The next event of note was when he invited a young lady to practice with. He said that she was very in tuned with energy and auras, and would be an easy person to practice with. This introduction made me more than a little uneasy. Practice? Practice what? How? What was I in for this time?
He had the girl sit on a stool facing me and close her eyes. I was to bring my hands up toward her until I felt the edges of her energy and then work my way around her body feeling her energy. This seemed rather bizarre to me, but I could see no reason to object – except that it seemed like a silly thing to do. I got as serious as I could about this and began by moving my palms toward her face. I could imagine that I felt something kind of warm when I got within a foot or so of her face, so decided that must be a good distance. I then pretended to feel around the surface of this energy zone.
As I moved around to the side of her head I got an odd feeling that her energy was all tangled up. It wasn’t really something that I could distinctly feel; it was just a small thought. I found that I had an urge to run my fingers through the energy to untangle it, kind of like straightening out hair, but at a distance. This was pretty weird thing for me to do, but since I was already doing this weird thing I figured I might as well just let it go and do what came along. After a bit of this it feel like the energy was now wavy, but untangled. I went on around to her back side and found that there seemed to be a clearly identifiable boundary between the room and her energy. It almost felt like a soft wall that I could push against. I pretended to gently rub my hands over the surface as I continued to move around, and then down her body. During this whole time I never got my hands closer than about a foot or a little more from her. This was kind of an “air massage.”
By the time that I got back around to her front side for the second time I could see that her expression had changed to one of peace and quiet. If nothing else happened, she appeared to have been greatly relaxed by this whole thing.
Since I didn’t know what else to pretend that I was doing, I just stepped back and let my hands down to my side. He then asked her to open her eyes and tell me what she had felt. She said that when I started it felt like I was picking her skin up off of her face and head, and turning it over a little at a time– placing it back on differently than it had been. She said it was a very strong feeling, but not unpleasant. She liked it okay once she decided to let it happen. (I guess this is when I was straightening out her energy?)
She then said that it was a very good feeling, comfortable sensation as I moved around. She said that as she sat there talking to us it looked like she had just drunk a couple of shots of vodka or something. She said she felt giddy, drunk, and happy. She offered the use of herself for practice whenever we wanted; she said that she felt great and would be more than happy for another air massage.
During this whole event I found myself feeling like I was pretending to feel something, and pretending to know what it was that I was supposed to do. There was nothing obvious, but a very subtle urge seemed to guide me in what I was supposed to be pretending to do. I imagined that I felt an energy boundary, but it wasn’t the same as feeling a physical force – it was just an imagination of a force. If anything was actually happening, it was all happening below my normal senses like those of touch, sound, heat. The odd part to me was that she indicated that she felt things that I had just imagined, so maybe “imagined” was not the right way to look at it. Was I pretending, or was I actually experiencing something? I really have no way of knowing. If it involved sensing something real it was a type of sensing that I am not very familiar with. However, it did have the same kind of feeling of warmth flowing through my body, arms and hands as I have felt in the past when “healing” seemed to be happening. It was like a real feeling, but not one that I am normally in tuned with. Was this a hallucination, imagination or real? I have no way of knowing.