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NEM (Net Energy Metering) 3.0

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INTRODUCTION

The California Public Utility Commission (CPUC) is voting on a decision about changing the way that distributed (“rooftop”) solar power is billed and credited.  Distributed solar power includes energy produced in the proximity of the end user, including residential solar as well as small scale community solar projects where a group gets together and shares a community owned array. This contrasts with centralized generation where solar electricity is produced by a large plant, transmitted over long distances and then distributed to consumers through a power distribution network (grid).   The proposed new rates are referred to as NEM 3.0 (Net Energy Metering) to replace current NEM 1.0 and NEM 2.0.

BACKGROUND

NEM 1.0 and NEM 2.0 provide a means for a user (solar producer) to send unused power back to the grid to be credited for use at a future time.  There are slight differences between NEM 1.0 and NEM 2.0 in how the “extra” energy is evaluated, but the general idea is that excess power used at one time can be “used” anytime during the future year. The basic idea is to use the grid as a kind of long term “battery”.  This approach provides a way to size a system in such a way as to provide a credit for excess power produced in the summer months when solar is plentiful, and use the resulting credit it to offset the use (and cost) in the winter months when solar is scarce.  At the end of the year there is a “true up” where the user either pays for any power that they used in excess of what they made, or get paid a small amount for excess power that they didn’t use (usually in the form of a credit).  In addition, there is a small (around $10/month) bill for “non-power” mandated subsidies for other things including energy efficiency programs, public purpose programs, the Wildfire Fund, and Nuclear Decommissioning and grid service costs.

Residential electric bills are divided into three major categories that cover the (1) cost of energy, (2) cost of transmission and distribution, and the (3) mandated non-power costs.  These are all combined into a rate that is then billed in a single “cost per-kWHr” rate. Thus if a solar user is “net zero”, they have no energy use and therefore do not pay for the energy or distribution infrastructure costs – except for a small flat rate as previously noted.  That means that they not only don’t pay for the power they use (which seems correct since they didn’t use any), but they also don’t pay for the costs associated with installing and maintaining the grid or providing the other services that are necessary to make the system function.  Depending upon the value of their excess power production, they might be getting something for nothing, meaning those that do not have solar are paying more than they would otherwise pay if nobody had solar.

Based upon this consideration,  the PUC determined that the NEM 2.0 billing practices are “unfair” for those that are not solar users and that something needs to be done to “solve” this terrible “problem” by finding a way to charge solar users more for the use of the grid.

PUC ANALYSIS

The PUC commissioned their energy consultants E3 (Energy and Environmental Economics), Verdant Associates and Itron, Inc to perform Lookback Studies and Avoided Cost Calculations in an effort to determine the cost/benefits associated with the presence of distributed solar power on the grid.  These consultants were asked to determine whether or not solar was a cost benefit or deficit based upon six studies: (1) A lookback study evaluating historical cost/benefits; (2) Avoided Cost Calculations to determine the value of added solar resulting from avoiding grid costs; (3) Participant Cost Test (PCT); (4) Program Administrator Test (PAC); (5) Total Resource Cost (TRC); and (6) Rate Payer Impact Measure (RIM).  In addition, the PUC was charged with performing a seventh test, the Societal Cost Test (SCT) but did not do so because of a lack of interest, and therefore a lack of funding.  Each of the measures for the PCT, PAC, TRC and RIM resulted in a value on a scale centered on zero impact, with relative positive or negative values.  The tests estimated whether solar had a negative or a positive impact on the costs of each of the areas of concern.  While the name of the Avoided Cost Analysis sounds like it is all encompassing, it actually provided a narrow view into the total avoided costs. It was specifically described in the report as being incomplete and unsuitable for rate structuring purposes – however, it was the MAIN calculation used in the decisions concerning changes to the rate structure.

The exclusion of Societal Cost Test (SCT) is perhaps the most egregious failure of the PUC Commission’s evaluation because that is the place where costs beyond the narrow costs of providing power would have been addressed.  Costs such as the loss (or preservation) of open land, environmental/ecosystem impacts, leakage of methane, reduction in the risk of global warming, and many other “extra” costs would have been identified.  However, the PUC ruled that not only were they not funding those studies, but they believe these “other” costs are insignificant and needn’t be included in the modeling.

The PUC then formed a group of several interested parties charged with the task of developing independent proposals based upon the results these studies to help identify a solution that would achieve mandated energy goals while maintaining a “fair” billing structure for all parties.  Proposals for Net Energy Metering Tariff Changes were submitted by CALSSA (California Low-Income Coalition); CCSA (Coalition for California Utility Employees); Californians for Renewable Energy; CESA (California Energy Storage Association); CalWEA (California Wind Energy Association); Clean Coalition; Foundation Windpower; GRID Alternatives with Vote Solar and Sierra Club; Ivy Energy Multifamily VNEM; Joint Utilities; NRDC (National Resources Defense Council); PCF; Public Advocates Office; Sierra Club; SBUA (Small Business Utility Advocates); SEIA/Vote (Vote Solar with the Solar Enginery Industry Association) ; and TURN (The Utility Reform Network). 

PUC DECISION

The PUC held extensive hearings on the topic of the “fairness” of the current rate structure, with almost exclusive emphasis on how much of the Transmission/Distribution costs were being shifted from distributed solar users to those who do not use solar.  There were no considerations that perhaps private citizens building their own power plants might decrease the need for such purchased by the utilities or any other system level benefits that might be provided by distributed power. Their findings are that the solar users are not paying “their fair share” and therefore the rates need to be changed to balance the costs.  While this is perhaps a reasonable conclusion, their approach selecting a solution was arbitrary and capricious  in that it was in reaction to a claim of “unfair” but had little, or no, basis in facts or the data.  They heard all of the proposals, turning them down as being unconvincing.  There final decision was actually pretty simple.  They decided that distributed solar was receiving too much incentive and therefore should pay higher rates for the use of the grid.  Their statement of the problem is that distributed solar users make too much on their investment.  In order to decrease their return on investment, they decided to design a rate schedule that will limit the simple payback time for a solar installation to 14 years without batteries, and 10 years with them (as an incentive to install batteries). 

Therefore the rate schedule that they developed by the PUC was designed to limit the value of the investment on solar rather than cover the costs of maintaining the grid.   A 14 year payback period is equivalent to about 7% return on investment.  While this is a “reasonable” return, it is less than can be expected from many other types of long term investments, such as investments in stocks or bonds.  This is significantly less than the historical 10% return on stocks and is hardly an “incentive” rate, especially since it requires tying up a large amount of cash for many years, limited flexibility – and includes significant uncertainty associated with future prices of energy and future PUC rate setting actions.  Not only is there significant uncertainty of the future price of energy, but distributed solar arrays typically have warranties of around 10 years for inverters and 25 years for solar arrays, with no warranty on the other parts of the system and the warranties are for parts only, they do not cover labor costs beyond ten years.  There is the potential for a large future cost to repair/replace failed components. 

By way of comparison, large solar installations receive various types of government incentives and subsidies designed to provide the owners with a minimum rate of return of over 15% (usually over 20% after tax incentives are included).  A 15% ROI translates into 6.7 year simple payback time.  The reason that large solar installations are subsidized by that amount is that there is a strong desire to switch to non-polluting energy sources for “social” reasons such as avoiding a catastrophic collapse of the worlds environment due to greenhouse gas emissions, and because it takes this much (or more) to make taking rather risky investments such as solar economically worthwhile – whether for a business or an individual.  

CONCLUSIONS

The PUC NEM 3.0 proposal does not result in a “fair” rate schedule, nor does it achieve the important goals of achieving carbon reduction goals while protecting the rest of the environment.  To fund electricity infrastructure by attaching the cost to energy costs is outdated, and unworkable, in precisely the same way that attaching road taxes to gasoline has become as more and more cars are becoming electric.  In the case of automobiles, paying for the transportation infrastructure costs through gas tax means that those that use gasoline pay all of the costs, and those that use electric cars pay none.  The infrastructure costs should be attached to the use of the infrastructure, in this case to mileage and vehicle weight.  Perhaps there should be no gas tax, but there certainly should be a mileage tax. 

In the case of electricity, the infrastructure costs should be attached to the use of the infrastructure – in this case the amount of power available (demand service size).  The maximum delivered demand load drives the size of all of the infrastructure components, and hence the cost of providing the infrastructure supporting each service.  There should be “hook up” charges based on the size of the service plus some non-demand related fixed costs such as the “non-energy” mandated charges.  The energy charges should be based upon the amount of energy used, or purchased since solar allows the service to act at a power source to the grid.

Burying one type of expense in a different type of service/product results in “unfair” practices, and makes it much more difficult to understand and therefore provide appropriate incentives and subsidies where desired for socially desirable reasons.

The move to a new NEM 3.0 should be postponed until such time as the rest of the costs are included in the cost modeling, and until a decision about how to better separate energy costs from grid infrastructure costs are determined.  Making such important decisions based upon a casual opinion that a 14 years payback should be sufficient for homeowners is bad policy and is inexcusable in this case.   A logical extension of the PUC proposal is to limit, or charge the customer, for improved efficiency measures since that means they will use less power and therefore pay less for the use of the grid than others who don’t invest in efficiency measures.  The goal is to reduce the need for power, reduce the use of non-renewable energy, and minimize the greenhouse impacts on the environment.  Focusing on keeping prices high, and providing dis-incentives for efficiency improvements (including self-generated solar) are counterproductive.  

Auto accident

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This event happened during the last week of June while my wife and I were vacationing in South Dakota on the western boarder of the Pine Ridge Reservation.  We were traveling through the Badlands National Park and stopped at a Park Service office to use their facilities and eat our lunch at one of their picnic tables.  The countryside consisted of rolling grasslands for as far as the eye can see.  We were on a rather remote section of highway with very little traffic.

I am standing in the parking lot looking south about 50 feet onto the highway with a “T” intersection to my left.  A stop sign warns the eastbound traffic to stop for the through traffic.

All of a sudden, a car flashes past me going east into the “T” intersection at a speed clearly exceeding the available stopping distance.  The driver is an older man frozen in concentration on the road ahead, apparently realizing that there is no possibility of stopping in time to avoid going through the intersection and into the ditch on the far side.  As I turn to watch the upcoming wreck, I notice a pickup truck entering the intersection heading south.  It is apparent that they were on a collision course, both traveling at approximately 60 MPH and now unable to swerve or stop. 

The driver of the automobile finally applies his brakes, but not in time to have much of an effect.  I clearly see the car crash into the side of the pickup, T-boning it right in the middle of the truck.  There is a great crashing noise with billows of dust and things flying in the air.  I expect to see the car and pickup in the air and a terrible wreck with serious injuries to the occupants of both vehicles.

However, what I actually see leaves me in total amazement.  The pickup continues down the road, up over a little rise in the road, and disappears as if nothing has happened.  Then I look to see what sort of crumpled up car is left behind only to see the car driving out in the field to the east, slowly turning around and heading back toward the road. 

Another guy, who also standing in the parking lot, and I run over to the scene of the “crash” to see what we can do to help the obviously seriously injured occupants of the car.  There is a typical wire and board ranch gate allowing a vehicle to drive into the field from the highway.  It lines up nicely with the road, but is mysteriously intact even though at that moment the car is calmly driving through the field on the other side of the gate. I wonder how the car could have gotten through a closed gate.  The other guy looks at me and shrugs, indicating that he has the same question.  He opens the gate so we can go through to assist the driver and passenger.  As he opens the gate, the driver slowly drives through the gate onto the road and drives south in the direction of the pickup.  The driver doesn’t acknowledge us or say anything, not even a “thank you” for opening the gate for him.  He just drives off down the road with a woman passenger. 

All I can do is just stand there watching them disappear in the distance, dumbfounded, wondering what I had just seen.  I finally explore the ditch to see what I could find.  It is about five feet deep, running parallel to the N-S section of highway.  At the bottom of the ditch is a collection of plastic car parts, including a fender, parts of a bumper, and other odds and ends that got ripped or knocked off of the car.  At the bottom of the ditch is a rectangular, 6-inch deep depression the size of the car, clearly indicating where the bottom of the car impacted the ground with significant force before rebounding up out of the ditch, through the barbed wire fence and out into the field beyond. 

We pick up the car parts and take them back to where the garbage cans are located in the parking lot of the Park Service building; cleaning up the litter from the accident.  I go into the office to notify them that the wreck had torn a hole through the fence and that whoever owned the property to the south should be notified so that their animals, if any, would not get out onto the highway.  The park ranger is quite surprised to find out that there was a wreck.  She said that they have had a lot of problems with those neighbors and won’t be calling them.  After about 15 minutes, the car returns to the parking lot.  The older man gets out, picks up his car parts and then drives off without a word.  This event left me feeling somehow disconnected.  I felt positive that I had witnessed a terrible crash with a car traveling at high speed crashing squarely into the side of a pickup.  However, nothing happened – it felt as if the car passed cleanly through the pickup, much as physics says is possible because of quantum effects.  Obviously, that didn’t happen, but in some way it did happen like that for me.  What I “saw” was a terrible wreck.  The only explanation is that it was a “near miss” – so close in space and time that my mind just made up the difference.  While this easily explains the lack of a major outcome, what isn’t so easily explained is my unmistakable feeling that I had just witnessed a miracle and was somehow in an “alternate universe.”  It was actually quite surreal.  Lots of action and noise, car parts, noise and high speed action filling my world for a split second – but then “nothing.”  The pickup not changing direction or speed, and the car driving calmly off into the grassy field beyond and then just driving away as if nothing had happened.  The event was so rapid, violent and unexpected, that it felt like I was been catapulted into another dimension.  It was as if there was a discontinuity of some sort, and that I was temporarily watching from an unknown, new, vantage point. 

Emily

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I had an interesting, and rather unsettling, encounter with a young lady named Emily while on vacation in Mexico.  My wife and I had taken a trip to Cabo San Lucas with some of our daughter’s in-laws and family friends. Altogether, we made up a party of 32 people ranging in age from about 25 to about 65 years old.  A mid-winter trip to Cabo had become a bit of a family tradition for my daughter’s in-laws.  They stay in an “all inclusive” hotel for a week.  That pretty much means that there is plenty of food and drink all day long, except when napping.  Even the pool had a swim-up bar so you didn’t have to do more than drift over to that end of the pool to get another drink.  Luckily the drinks were very `weak.

I didn’t expect to enjoy the time there because this sort of vacation doesn’t seem very interesting, but it was actually quite pleasant.  I mainly sat in the shade and read.  We didn’t do much talking with the rest of the folks in the party because they sat in the full sun while (being blonds with very light skin) my wife and I found shady places – thus we spent most of the day in separate locations from the main party.

The hotel had various activities during the evening and into the night.  Generally, we all went our own directions at night – the “kids” went off partying and we “adults” went to our rooms.  On several evenings I would sit by an outdoor fire circle for a couple of hours and talk to other hotel guests.

One of the evenings was karaoke night.  I have never sung karaoke, but I decided to go watch for awhile.  Most of the rest of our party was there, hooting, hollering, and singing their hearts out.  Our group was made up of a bunch of cowboys (actual, honest to goodness cowboys with the boots, hats and big belt buckles as proof) and farmers.  The cowboys got right into the spirit of the event.  They rather dominated the evening, singing solo and in groups – not particularly well, but with a lot of enthusiasm.

Things were rapidly going down hill as the evening wore on until a lovely stranger stepped up to the microphone.  I was pleasantly surprised at her appearance – young, tall, and beautiful.  Then she started to sing and I was blown away!  Her voice was even prettier than she was.  It was an amazing change from the cowboys we had been listening to; she sang loud, beautiful and crystal clear. 

That was an interesting interlude, but soon the guys were back at it again.  I decided that since I was with the group I should play along with them rather than just being a wallflower observer.  I started looking through the list of songs hoping to find something that I might know.  I like music, but seldom pay attention to who is playing or the names of the songs – so it was a bit of a challenge for me to find something that I might be able to sing all the way through.  I decided that I might know some old Beatles songs, so was looking through them when one of the ladies in our group suggested “All You Need Is Love.” The idea was that it is simple and others would join in.  So, I chose that for my introduction to the karaoke game. 

It started off easy enough.  I at least knew the introductory chorus, but it quickly degenerated once I got past the few words that I knew.  All of a sudden I found myself madly trying to read the words on the screen, but getting further and further behind.  Then it dawned on me that there was an abrupt change in vocal range coming up. I remembered that there is an octave or so jump that has to be made.  Well, that was a real problem because I don’t have much of a vocal range.  I have a really deep voice that just kind of hangs around there at the bottom of whatever other people are singing.  I guess you might call it a bass, and a low one at that.  I was already singing an octave above my normal range, so the idea of going even higher was a bit stressful to say the least.  As I was singing along worrying about this shift, it felt a bit like being pushed into a box canyon where I had no way out but would have to jump to the top of the cliff.  I began to feel panic rising in me.

When the time finally came for that shift, a rather odd thing happened – I just jumped for it and went into a falsetto that I had never experienced.  I just gave it all and bang, there I was singing another octave (or maybe two!) above where I had been.  The really weird thing is that I think I might have even been on the correct notes and in key.  Who would have expected such a thing?  Then I noticed that pretty girl, who was sitting next to the stage – watching me.  When I made that jump, her face totally lit up, she broke into the most amazing, and approving, smile that I can recall ever seeing.  She liked it!?  Of course, once I saw her smile I completely forgot where I was in the song and ended up just kind of dribbling out the end.  I don’t even know if I finished the song – probably not.

I just kind of shuffled back to my seat, relieved that I had been a “good sport” and wouldn’t have to repeat the attempt.  Soon the karaoke portion of the night came to an end, and it turned into a dance party.  I was there by myself and really didn’t much feel like dancing, but decided to stick around and watch for awhile.  However, my plans were interrupted when that girl came up and asked me to dance.  I did, but felt pretty self conscious because she was so pretty and I felt out of place and married.  I finally agreed. However, when we stopped dancing she stuck around with me, and we chatted about nothing special – that was when I found out that her name was Emily. 

I then started noticing an interesting activity in the night club.  Several men had also noticed Emily and were making their moves.  They came and got her to dance, but she always came right back to me.  They came and tried all sort of approaches – which I had never seen before, but she was probably totally familiar with.  However, it soon became clear to me that they could do whatever they wanted, but she was with me for the evening.  At one point one of the guys even tried to get me into a fight with him to prove his prowess.  One guy came and talked religious talk, another talked about how much money he had.  Others talked about athletic things.  All were useless; Emily was with me for the night – and I knew it. 

I tried to make sure I mixed in with the rest of our group, not wanting to make it too obvious that I had a beautiful girl being nice to me.  Whenever she went to dance with someone, I would go talk to a friend or mingle – but she always came back and pulled me back out of the crowd.

It was kind of an amazing thing.  I have heard about meeting a soul mate from a past life, and never much paid any attention to it.  However, Emily was like that.  It just felt like she was a good friend from somewhere in the distant past.  We picked up our conversation at a point that felt like it had been going on forever.  There was no feeling of lust (well, not a lot of that at any rate), more of a feeling of great friendship.  When she went to dance with another, or she went off and talked to some other guys, it was obvious that she would be back and that there was no reason to worry about it, or fret. 

Finally it was closing time, and we were standing in the hall with a group of my party.  I realized at that moment that it was over, there was no way that I could continue that into the night – and really didn’t have a need or desire to do so.  She offered to go get some beer she had in her room and continue with the party (which she did with some of the guys) – but I knew that was the end of it for me. I just walked off through the dark and quiet halls to the elevator to return to my room and my wife.    

That was the end of the story, she was gone – but I still have the very strong and rather odd feeling that she is gone “once again.”  I heard that she was up until 5:00 am partying with the boys, still singing as the sun was coming up.  The next day was the day to travel home, so there was no more chance to see her or talk to her any more.  Then, as I was leaving, she was standing next to the pool in her bikini – as pretty as she was the night before.  I went up to her to say goodbye and thank her for the evening.  She just kind of looked blankly at me for a moment, then broke into the same smile as the night before and threw her arms around me in a hug to say goodbye.  She had just put on suntan lotion, so my shirt stuck to her belly – we were momentarily “glued” together.  Then I turned and left for the trip back home.

It has been a couple of years since that night, but there is still a lingering feeling.  There is still a feeling of loss, of having made an important connection of the soul, but it just pulled apart once again.  Maybe we will meet again in yet another life, maybe not.  In any case, she brought an energy and connection that I am not likely to forget. 

I think the most important part of this event to me was a reminder that there is more to being with people than just being with them.  I had been noticing that my connections with people – friends, loved ones, strangers, those I don’t much like – had become somehow “flat” emotionally.  I enjoyed them, and liked to be around them, but there was not much “energy” involved.  For a few years I had been wondering if this was because I had moved further into my Buddhist and Toltec practices so that strong emotions had become dampened, or if it is just a natural thing that comes from growing older.  I wondered if maybe I had somehow become too self-centered to respond to people with strong emotions – love, compassion, interest, hate, disgust and all the rest.  It has been pleasant enough to be a little disconnected from others, but a little lonely too. 

Emily somehow shook me awake again.  I feel like she kind of slapped me around, reminding me to pay attention to energy and emotions, to fully engage in life rather than sit on the sidelines and watch.  Not that I really did that, I usually get engaged in life – but it had become muted.  That night my connection with Emily was certainly not muted!  I was all of a sudden wide awake again.  I am a little melancholy that she was just a vision passing in the night, but am grateful for the experience and reminder. A couple of weeks after this encounter I was driving to town early in the pre-dawn morning when I realized that Emily wasn’t really a stranger to me, it seemed like she was the angel that I had encountered years earlier in an automobile accident (see “Angel Lady”).  As soon as that thought came to mind, the hairs all over my body stood on end – and tears welled up in my eyes.  It seemed that I had recognized the connection, that whoever this lady is – she has been there to help me before.

Time

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I am currently in the middle of a little book by Carlo Rovelli called “The Order of Time.” I seem to be stumbling from page to page with my mind being boggled as I attempt to “follow” the story. Having a background in physics might help me do this, but that is not certain. At least I am already familiar with the concepts, theories and historical figures that he draws upon – but the way Rovelli is weaving the story seems both helpful in providing a better glimpse into some of my long-time confusions, but then adds a lot of new ones. I am going to write this posting a little different than normal. I am going to write little snippets, or add interesting quotes as I go along reading the book. That means that this blog will change over time as I “edit” it and repost it with new materials. I don’t promise continuity or avoiding conflicting ideas.

Here goes:

Time goes slower in higher gravitational fields. For example, the gravitational field on top of a mountain is less than at sea level because of the increased distance to the center of mass of the earth. Hence, time is faster on top of the mountain than at sea level. Not a lot slower at sea level, but enough to have major impacts. According to Rovelli, “The slowing down of time has crucial effects: think fall because of it, and it allows us to keep our feet firmly on the ground. If our feet adhere to the pavement, it is because our whole body inclines naturally to where time runs more slowly – and time passes more slowly for your feet than it does for your head.”

“On the one hand, there was time, with its many determinations; on the other, the simple fact is that nothing is: things happen.“

“We can think of the world as made up of things. Of substances, Of entities. Of something that is. Or we can think of it as made up of events, Of happenings. Of processes. Of something that occurs. Something that does not last, and that undergoes continual transformation, that is not permanence in time. It is the realization of the ubiquity of impermanence, not of statsis in a motionless time.” This is pointing to the rather odd perspective that the universe is made up of nothing (no thing), it is all a manifestation of action, of change in line with the Buddhist teachings about the importance of the concept of impermanence. It isn’t just that there everything is impermanent, but that is exactly what everything is – IMPERMANENCE. “The world is not a collection of things, it is a collection of events.”

“It isn’t true, as is sometimes stated, that life generates structures that are particularly ordered, or that locally diminish entropy: it is simply a process that degrades and consumes the low entropy of food, it is a self-structured disordering, no more or less than in the rest of the universe. From the most minute events to the more complex ones, it is this dance of ever-increasing entropy, nourished by the initial low entropy of the universe, that is the real dance of Shiva, the destroyer.”

In Book XI of the Confessions, Saint Augustine asks himself about the nature of time, how we can be aware of duration if we are always only in a present that is instantaneous. He concludes that:

It is within my mind, then, that I measure time. I must not allow my mind to insist that time is something objective. When I measure time, I am measuring something in the present in my mind. Either this is time, or I have no idea what time is.

Dream at the Lake

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I had a very long and involved dream that wasn’t lucid until at the very end.  The dream played like a movie, but from the point of view of me rather than as a camera watching me.

When the dream started it was the end of spring, the beginning of summer.  I was working as a handyman/owner/manager of a campground located on the edge of a lake used for fishing, swimming, water skiing, etc.  I was cleaning the grounds, working on boats, pumping gas on the boat dock, etc. 

Little by little, important people in my life started showing up.  They arrived in old cars, walked in, hitch hiked, or whatever.  They were all having various problems in their lives, and were looking for something.  Not having a place to go, or money, they came to camp for the summer.  It ended up with about a dozen of these folks (both men and women) who stood out as the “regulars” at the campground, separate from the weekenders who kind of flowed through.

At first we all didn’t necessarily get along all that great, we kept pushing each other’s sensitive places – causing anger and hurt.  However, we gradually became friends, learning where the sensitive places were and helping each other with those areas.  We worked on fixing boats together, cooked and ate meals together; I bought a little old outboard so we could take boat rides on the lake, or just go fishing.  I helped a neighbor who had bought a big, fancy old cabin cruiser that was in terrible shape – with dreams of refurbishing it back into a luxury boat.

We eventually fell in love with each other, completely and thoroughly enjoying one another.  It was so much fun because we were all so different, so quirky, and so full of life.  As we played and worked together people started getting their lives and directions sorted out.  We were all slowly waking up to life that summer.

By the end of summer everyone was anxious to get on with their new-found directions and desires.  They ended up going off in three or four general directions, forming little groups based on that.  As the end of summer approached we started helping the car owners get their cars up and running again. We bought gas, fixed tires, repaired transmissions, etc.  One girl decided to take a bus, most were riding in the cars.

Finally the day of departure came and they all climbed into their selected transportation with great laughter and joy.  Everyone was so happy and full of adventure.  They drove out the driveway laughing and waving.  I was standing on the road watching them go, knowing that the loves of my life had just driven down the road into their bright and wonderful futures. 

I heard footsteps behind me, and turned half hoping that someone has stayed behind to play with me.  However, it was just a weekend girl camper who walked by me without a glance. 

At that moment I woke in my dream, which became lucid and I knew that I had just witnessed one of the ongoing stories in my life.  I thought, “this has been an interesting dream, it was put together just like a movie – and in fact would make a good movie.”  I then walked back to the dock, right where I was when the dream started.  I felt melancholy because my friends had gone away, joyful that they were off on great adventures, and blessed that I had the opportunity to spend part of my life with them in love and joy. 

I then realized that this is how life goes.   We are doing something kind of mundane activity, then magic happens for awhile, but then the magic is over and we are back on our path.  It is sometimes frightening to think about losing the joy of the magic, but the magic is always worthwhile, these are the times that make life all worthwhile.

Spirit in the Sweat lodge

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This is a story about my first sweat lodge ceremony with some Native American friends who showed up at my door during the summer of 2007.  We had met a few times when they called and invited me to attend a sweat lodge ceremony to be held on the coming weekend, starting at 8:00 am and going until that evening.   They invited me to a sweat at one of their homes. 


The first thing that struck my eye was that the lodge had a different shape than the one I have in my back yard.  It was made of tied willows like mine, but much bigger.  They commented on how big it was, so I guess that it is larger than normal.  It was approximately five feet tall, and twelve or so feet in diameter.  The shape was a little bit like a flattened pumpkin.  The ends of the willow sticks making the structure of the lodge came out of the ground angled away from the center and then bent back over the top.  This made the walls lean back when on the inside so you not only could sit up straight, but you could lean back on them in a semi-reclining fashion.  That was an improvement to comfort over my lodge which leans inward from the ground up, making it impossible to sit up straight next to the wall.   The main structure was round like ours, but had two sets of four main sticks going parallel in the east-west and north-south directions, forming a square made up of nine squares of about a foot on a side at the top, with one square right in the middle.  Then there were two circumferential sticks to hold it together, just as we do.  They tied it all together with a natural fiber twine, and had no special colors at the connections.  The lodge was made light tight and insulated by covering it using old blankets, with a final layer of old canvas on the outside.  The door consisted of an opening with a large flap that could be opened or closed as desired.  The door opening was pretty large; you could walk in and out stooped over rather than crawling like you do with ours.  The large door opening allowed the lodge to cool down quickly between rounds of sweating, which was a relief.  The door opening was on the east side of the lodge.


The fire was in a large pit dug about ten feet away, due east from the door.  The pit was over two to three feet deep, six to eight feet in diameter, with steep vertical walls.  Once the fire was going the line between the fire and the lodge became sacred and could only be crossed by the fire tender.  If you wanted to get to the other side, you had to go around the lodge.  The rocks were volcanic, from nearby Mt. Lassen.  They were much larger than ours, in fact about as large as you could pick up with a pitch fork.  They ranged from about seven inches to ten inches or so in diameter.  The pit in the center of the lodge was much larger than ours to accommodate the larger rocks.  There was an altar consisting of a little hill in front of the door, to the north side of the line between the pit and the fire.  It held sacred objects – feathers, special jewelry and other things.

While the rest of us were busy putting on the covering, setting up the altar, setting up the covering and stuff, the singer assembled a water drum.  He used a cast iron cooking kettle with three legs for the body of the drum.  The kettle was about nine inches in diameter.  He filled it about 1/3 full of water and soaked a round piece of tanned hide in it to wet and soften the hide.  He used seven white, one-inch diameter round pebbles to help tie the hide to the top of the kettle.  He wrapped the hide around a marble, wrapped the tie rope around the hide to hold the marble and then went to the next marble. When he was done he had seven hide wrapped marbles tied around the perimeter holding the stretched hide onto the top of the kettle.  He then took the long end of the tie rope and went from the center of section of rope between the marbles, pulled it under the kettle and around a leg, then back up to the next section of rope between marbles.  When he was all done he had pulled the hide taught with ropes (using a piece of antler as a handle) crossing around the legs and under the kettle.  He tied it very tight, using his foot on the rope to get enough tension.   The drum was played by hitting it with a stick that was about a half inch in diameter and a foot long.  Once in awhile while playing it he would tip the kettle so that water wet the hide again, making a really neat change in tone.  This drum works only when wet, perfect for use inside of the sweat lodge where it is too humid to keep a normal drum taut.  As the ceremony went along, the water would evaporate and during the breaks the drummer would pour more water into the kettle, right though the surface of the hide – it just poured in like it was through a piece of cloth.   The drum would also lose air.  The drummer periodically stopped and blew air through the hide into the drum to fill it up again. 

Omicron

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I just got out of an interesting (and rather scary) zoom meeting with a few of my “safety” colleagues. There were 13 people in the meeting, living in various places across the USA (east coast, Washington State, Phoenix Arizona, southern states). The point being that they were from a large geographical area. Four of the attendees contracted omicron during the holidays. They all reported similar situations. They had attended family gathers where everyone was fully vaccinated, and everyone had previously tested negative. The common outcome was that everyone in attendance caught the virus. These four people at the meeting represented something like 30 (or more) people that contracted the disease during a couple of days together. This represents a “breakthrough” rate of around 33% for the people in attendance at my meeting this morning, and close to 100% breakthrough for the family members in attendance at the gatherings.

If this is an example of how contagious this variant is, it appears that either we stay completely away from everyone (effectively quarantining ourselves), or we will catch it. The folks at the meeting reported a variety of symptoms, mostly having severe cold-like symptoms along with terrible aches and pains, loss of muscle control and brain fog. One people reported that it was tolerable and didn’t require hospitalization, but that it was the worst sickness in their 70 years of life – hopefully not something to be repeated. Many odd symptoms were reported, such as not being able to write for a few hours because of lack of ability to control that hand and arm, dizziness, major “brain fog”, etc. After two weeks they were (barely) able to attend the zoom meeting. Hopefully they will all recover and not end up with “long covid.”

As far as I can determine, the vaccines are doing exactly what they have always been advertised to do – minimize the severity of the disease, thereby minimizing hospitalizations and death. There has never been a claim that vaccinations will reduce the likelihood of infection, just that they will reduce the severity once infected. A similar claim has been made about masks and distancing. Masks definitely help minimize the potential for spreading the virus, but are not very effective against becoming infected. Distancing (to the point of quarantining) is the only real way to prevent infection. Distancing, but not so much in situations where anyone in the vicinity is mask-less (or not wearing it properly). My personal guess is that “distancing” means several feet outdoors, and it means that there has been nobody in a for several hours (no matter how large). The reason for avoiding all indoor spaces is that viruses “ride” on aerosols, and aerosols very quickly fill up a room of almost any size – and stick around for hours. A person wearing a mask less effective than a properly fitted N95 will spread large quantities of aerosols. I think we are seeing the impacts of this route of transmission in the new spike in infections.

My personal “take” on all this is that it is a bit scary to consider that I probably WILL catch it rather than MIGHT catch it. (Who knows, the “cold” and achy joints that my wife and I experienced a couple of weeks ago might well have been “it”.) Apparently there are now a lot of false negatives in the testing, so even getting a “negative” test doesn’t prove much.

However, it is sort of comforting to think that when I do catch it, the symptoms will be tolerable since I am fully vaccinated and in relatively good health. I am going to continue to postpone the onset of infection as long as I can by reducing my exposure to people as much as is practical – knowing that there are still going to be some exposures in order to carry on daily living. I will continue to wear a mask in public in the hopes of reducing the peaks of infections, thus minimizing the load on the medical system (just like in the “old days” of 2021 – reduce the peak even while knowing that eventually almost everyone will get it). I am disheartened that so many people are being self-centered in their choices of actions (no vaccinations, no masks, no distancing, no common sense protections), rather than coming together as a group in an attempt to weather this pandemic as best as we can. It is a global problem that requires a global solution. I had hoped that people could realize that we are all connected and interdependent, and therefore work together against a common problem – but apparently that isn’t how people work.

Earth Mother

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I was invited to an all-night Native American ceremony held in a teepee on the night of a full moon.  The site selected for the ceremony was in the mountains of Northern California, not too far from the snowcapped Mount Shasta.  There were about 25 people in attendance, sitting on the ground in a circle facing the fire in the center of the teepee.  These ceremonies are an opportunity to spend the night singing, praying, and talking about emotional or physical ailments that could use some medicine and healing.

During the middle of the night during the ceremony, nature called so I went outside to relieve myself and to stretch my aching legs after sitting for several hours on the dirt facing the hot and bright fire in the center of the teepee.  When I got outside I found it to be a marvelous and beautiful scene.  The ceremony was being held in a large green meadow, surrounded by a dense pine forest.  The night was crystal clear, with a gorgeous full moon lighting up the surroundings.  The teepee glowed a mellow orange color, showing the outlines of people’s shadows as they continued the songs as I enjoyed the view and peaceful mood.

After a while I noticed a girl coming toward me across the meadow.  I had noticed her earlier in the teepee, but hadn’t seen her leave.  She must have taken a break about the same time that I did.  She was coming toward me in a way that made it obvious that she was going to give me a hug.  I am normally a great fan of hugs, but in this case I was hesitant because I had judged her to be a hippy, nature girl who would likely have body smells that I wouldn’t find pleasing.  She was very nice looking, but dressed in the clothes of the Northern California hippy earth mothers.  I enjoy talking to these hippy people, but sometimes their odor can get pretty overpowering.

In this case I decided that I had no choice, so I just resigned myself to the experience.  When we embraced in a big hug I first noticed that I was correct, she smelled “natural” without the normal chemical perfume smells that I had grown used to in town.  However, it wasn’t a bad smell – just different.  As I stood there contemplating the aroma, I noticed that I could detect the smells of her kitchen.  She smelled like freshly ground whole wheat, herbs and natural things from the forest.  It was very intoxicating in an interesting way, it made me think that she smelled like people are supposed to smell. It caught my attention and forced me to feel our humanity.

My imagination turned to what it must have been to live with native people who didn’t have any access to the soaps, deodorants, and perfumes so prevalent in our society.  I found that I really liked the experience.  I started to feel like I was connected to this lady in an oddly energetic way, we seemed to form a single entity.  That feeling of unity seemed to spread out from us into the field, then into the forest and nearby river.  Finally, it felt like I was physically connected to the entire world and all of humanity.  It was a really peaceful, powerful, and all-encompassing experience of the oneness of myself, that lady and all of nature.  There were no boundaries or divisions – just peace and an overwhelming feeling of love.  Not love for the girl, or lust, or anything like that. Rather, it was a pure and simple physical feeling inside of me of love – not of being in love, but being love. 

I have no idea how long we stood like that in the meadow; probably not very long.  I also have no idea if she experienced anything like I did, it didn’t seem appropriate or necessary to ask her.   There was a little break in the music that was an indication that we could enter and rejoin the group.   We both went back to our original positions among the others.

The rest of the night continued to be a joy for me.  The feeling of bliss and love stayed strong through that night, and through the next week.  For the first time, I spent the rest of the night with absolutely no pain or discomfort.  I was perfectly content to just sit and listen to the songs and prayers, adding mine when appropriate.  When the sky started to lighten, indicating the approach of dawn, I felt a little disappointment that it soon would be over and I would soon be back to “normal” – rather than sitting in the incredible state of blissful connectedness with the universe.

A few hours later, during the traditional noon feast, I found time to chat with that girl and tell her how her hug had turned the night around for me, and thank her for doing so.  I also mentioned that I was disappointed that the experience was bound to dissipate in due time and probably won’t happen again.  She smiled nicely, and said that the feeling might go away, until she comes to find me again someday.   I wonder in what future lifetime that might happen.

Spiritual Burial

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The weekend had been set aside to perform an all-night Native American Church ceremony on my property.  However, as I looked more into that I got “cold feet” because of the use of Peyote in the ceremony.  Not that I have a problem with the Peyote, but because of the legal implications of having a bunch of people over to my house to use an illegal drug.  The Indians have certain exemptions for its use, but it wasn’t clear to me that I would be protected by those exemptions.  However, since my Toltec friends and I had already set the time aside we decided to perform a Mother Earth healing ceremony instead.

The ceremony was to be a burial event where we would spend the night in shallow “graves.”  Our first task was to dig the graves.  We each picked out a spot and dug a long, shallow hole just big enough to lie down in and turn over in the night.  The dirt was hard clay soil and rather difficult to dig.  There were no rocks, but the dirt needed to be loosened with a pick, or a lot of hard effort on the shovel.  The hole was a whole lot more difficult to dig than it would have been when I was 50!  This was the first major lesson of the night, my body is changing and I will no longer be able to do things as easily as I had in the past.

We were supposed to have written a “will” before the event, which I forgot to do.  The will was not something about how to distribute goods after death, but rather a thing telling those that are left behind what we wanted to tell them, but never did.  It was to be in the form of thank you notes, apologies, or whatever else seemed right.  I worked on mine in my head while I dug the hole. I came up with some things concerning my children and my wife about how I have been ignoring them, or at least not giving them the attention and showing them my love in a way that I would have liked. 

We finally got our holes dug, and covered them with boards, covering the boards with dirt so that we could be entirely enclosed in the earth.  This took us most of the afternoon; the set up was done just before sunset.  We sat in a field and watched the sun go down, meditating as the sun set.  While doing this we were to meditate upon what we wanted to let die in our graves and what we wanted to allow to be re-born in the morning.

One of my current problems at that time was associated with my making assumptions about why people do what they do, and then acting on those assumptions as if they were somehow real.  This had been bothering me because it so often results in my doing inappropriate things in response, and just makes the whole issue of being clear with others that much more difficult.  Inevitably the other person does the same, making assumptions about what I am thinking in order to act the way that I do.  We just keep spinning further and further apart. 

Because of this, what I wanted to let die was my habit of making assumptions about what others are thinking and acting on those assumptions as if they are the truth.  I might make some tentative guesses, but need to check them out before I think I know the truth.  I intended to be reborn with the ability to just let them be without making the assumptions.  I want to respond to what I actually see rather than what I imagine.

The four us who were to be “buried” oriented our holes in the four directions, with a fire at the center.  Bob was toward the north, Lauren to the east, Adriana to the south and I was in the west.  Everyone but me put their heads away from the fire; I aligned my head to the east – toward the fire.  My Native American friend, Irvine, later said that I had done the right thing.  Apparently there can be problems with sleeping with your head toward the west.

As dark came upon us, we started the fire and got ready for our night in the earth.  We each had sleeping bags, and the men had “pee bottles.”  I don’t know what Adriana planned on doing about that.  Adriana wanted to know what we should wear.  Ramin answered that the appropriate attire was as we were born since we would be “re-born” in the morning.  She wasn’t willing to do that so she changed into some sort of long sleeping garb.  I think the problem had more to do with lying with bugs than with being shy about being naked in the hole in the earth.  My choice was to wear only my underwear because I was concerned that otherwise it would get too warm.


A couple of the others were nervous about getting claustrophobic. I was confident that I wouldn’t have this reaction because I have always liked being in closed, confined spaces. That kind of situation seems to put me into a sound sleep.  I fully expected to sleep well that night.

It was finally time to crawl into our holes.  We each crawled into the space under the boards and Ramin covered the rest with dirt, leaving a small slit open at the head end for air.  I found that I was very sleepy.  Once we were all settled in, Ramin started to drum.  His job for the night was to sit up and watch over us, protecting us – helping if we needed help, keep; the fire burning – and drumming.  I heard very little of the drumming because almost as soon as he started I fell asleep. 

Some time later (I don’t know when because I didn’t have a clock), I woke up feeling like I was suffocating.  I started to panic, wanting to get out of my hole – but I couldn’t because I was covered with too much dirt to move.  I was hot, sweaty and breathing hard.  I crunched up closer to the air slit and decided that it was probably safe – even though I was still claustrophobic and wanted out.  I finally managed to relax myself again, and decided that I would just have to wait it out. 

The first bug to visit me crawled into my ear.  I tried to get it out, but it just went deeper.  When I tried to get it with my finger, it started going around and around inside of my ear canal.  That got my attention for a long time.  It finally either crawled back out, or stopped moving.  In either case, it stopped “bugging” me.  I was on top of my sleeping bag instead of inside of it because it was too hot and humid to stay inside.  Things started crawling over me.  It felt like spiders or something small moving the hairs on my legs.  They were too light to actually feel them walking on me, but I could definitely follow them because I could feel them in my body hair.  I thought about swatting them, but since I really couldn’t reach down because of the cramped space, I decided to just let them be – wondering if they were going to bite.

After a bit I got pretty thirsty, so I reached around to get my water bottle to get a drink.  As I did so, my arm cramped.  The sharp pain made me straighten it and hope that the cramp would go away.  It finally did and I found a way to use the other arm to get the water bottle.  However, it really started to worry me because I sometimes get really strong leg cramps that demand that I stand and walk on the leg to get the pain to go away.  I started to worry about what would happen if I got a big leg cramp.  This put me back into the claustrophobic mind set once again.  About that time my leg did start to cramp as if on cue.  I managed to get it positioned to let the cramp subside, knowing that I would have to be very careful about what position that I got into. 

After awhile I noticed that Adriana was up with Ramin. Apparently she had decided that she had enough time in the hole.  I rather envied her courage to just give in instead of stubbornly staying in the hole.  I could see a tiny bit of what was going on through my air slit.  Pretty soon she went to bed in her sleeping bag next to the fire, and Ramin resumed his vigil sitting and keeping the fire burning. 

After successfully peeing in my bottle while lying on my side, I started to think about what it must be like for people who are trapped in a collapsed building or that little girl who fell down the well shaft.  Those people would really have to find a mind place where they could just let it be.  Otherwise it would be absolute terror.  Being trapped and unable to move would be terrible.  I was not really trapped because I knew I could get out, and I could move; but it was still pretty scary. I spent a lot of time imagining how it would be to be trapped like that.  It was funny, but those thoughts brought me comfort.  I had it easy, what was I being so upset about?  All I had to do was relax and things would be just fine.  I finally did relax and fell back to sleep for awhile.  

The next thing that I was aware of was the rising sun streaming through my breathing slit into my hole.  It was really wonderful to all of a sudden be bathed in the light, and it felt like I was awakening again.  Maybe I even felt a little like being re-born.  It filled me with peace and comfort.  Pretty soon Ramin came by and unearthed me, so I could slide back out into the world and enjoy the new morning.  

Once we were all out and stretching, we did some little ceremonies and then filled our holes back in again. I wanted to go get the tractor to push the dirt back in, but Ramin said that part of the ceremony was in filling up the holes.  He was right, it was an important step – but it was once again painful and tiring.

I am still wondering what that night brought to me.  Was it an actual “rebirth”? Or was it just a long, uncomfortable night?  Did I learn something important?  How will I know?